It’s beginning to feel a little too familiar. The back and forth game. Getting hopes up. I think he likes me. Hearing that it’s happening. He is in to me. Then it may not be happening. He pulls away. Yes, good news. It is happening now! I think he really is in to me! Feeling excited. He called! Oh, wait! I forgot to read something relaying a slightly important message. Oh wait, he hasn’t called in two weeks. Misinterpreted signals. Turns out he bails on your date. Now, again, things are looking a bit iffy.
My anticipated journey to the end of the Earth is comparable to the ‘oh so familiar’ uncertainty and false hope of not only meeting a good guy but actually dating one.* (please see footnote) A sincere. Honest. Single guy. The excitement of feeling a connection with an attractive guy, optimistically thinking it may actually go somewhere, but then something happens that ultimately leads to disappointment and/or heartbreak. Heartburn. This is what I am feeling now. The waiting game. The uncertainty. Trying to staying optimistic. This time though these crazy feelings are not because of a guy, but for a job and an incredible adventure!!
Patience is a virtue. . . . One that I may not have. Hello, Universe! I see a huge life lesson here so please let this happen.
Backtrack to June: This is when I applied and was offered a job down at McMurdo base in Antarctica. The overall process (which I won’t go in to) involves alot. A LOT of paper work. Medical testing. Drug testing. Getting PQed. As I was completing this PQ (physically qualified) process I heard there was a slight problem getting an icebreaker secured for this season. The icebreaker plays a crucial role in refueling and restocking the base each January. Without this they would need to conserve fuel already on base until 2013, cutting research and staff to do this. A.K.A. Without this I may not have a job. ACK!
I (as others who had been contracted for the summer 2011/2012) sat on pins and needles awaiting word. Mid-August was when we were supposed to hear word. August 15th came and went. Still NO WORD. At this point I was already medicating myself with extra strength ZANTAC. Last week I heard they entered a deal with the Russian Icebreaker!! Ecstatically, I began making lists of things I needed to do, things I needed to buy, and all that I needed to pack in the next 3 weeks. Well, in this frenzy I failed to open an attachment to one of my emails (yup!) which stated they did enter into an agreement with the Russian icebreaker but, BUT . . . . it alluded that they are still try to determine what the final population may be this summer! WHAT?! Instantly, my 10 hot seconds of joy sank to the pit of my stomach. Back to
anxiously PATIENTLY awaiting word.
Will I stay, or will I go?
* – I apologize if you non-single people do not understand this or forget what this may feel like* : D